Down and Out in Seattle & Bellevue

No, this isn't George Orwell's sad tale. Cornichon is a professional on a closed course. Do not attempt.

Afternoon starts at 0/8 in Bellevue with lavish spread and tasting of the entire Moët Hennessy portfolio. Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label, always gets you off on the right foot. Follow up with Moët & Chandon Brut Impérial Rosé. Outside, three bars sculpted from ice blocks. Sample a three-olive, Chopin vodka martini. Sample the Belevedere & Grand Marnier cosmopolitan. Back inside, sample the crab cakes. Taste chardonnay from Cloudy Bay, tokai friulani from Livio Feluga. Validate parking, head back across the water.

At The Ruins, liquor rep from Remy Cointreau introduces new liqueur from Macallan called Amber. Sit down to flight of seven drinks featuring Amber, from variations on martini to riffs on coffee nudge. Most taste like maple syrup or pecan but the Rob Roy from El Gaucho actually tastes like whiskey.

Now come five dishes flavored with Amber. Four desserts that taste like maple syrup. One savory item, from Veil: a seared scallop with Amber-flavored foam. (Amber-flavored majesty, right?) Delicious! Then three food & Amber pairings. Me, I'm down with El Gaucho's take on French toast with Amber-flavored coffee, but the other judges (six women; Cornichon's the only male) pick Mona's maple bar stuffed with foie gras dunked in, well, you know, Amber-flavored coffee. (Don't try this at home. Please!)

Still upright, I take a bottle of Amber to Mondello in Magnolia and pass around samples. Every woman at the bar loves it, confirming the brilliance of Amber's marketing. Home to Belltown. Good thing Cornichon is a professional on a closed course.