Put that gun away and just have a nice steak!

Are steakhouses doomed? If you believe what you read in the Noo Yawk Timez today, then yeah. But here in the Great Northwest, steakhouses are doing just fine, thank you. And a steakhouse, seems to me, might provide a pretty good outlet for some of that Second Amendment testosterone

I've taken the Bolt-Bus down to Portland for a brief reunion with friends. There are 44 restaurants identified as steakhouses on the UrbanSpoon website. Classic spots, like the Old Country Kitchen (now known as Sayler's, the family that's always owned it, ever since it offered a free "72-ounce steak" if you could eat the damn thing in an hour, along with two carrot sticks, two celery sticks, two pickles, two olives, a dinner salad, a slice of bread and ten french fries), spots even more traditionally "steakhouse" like the Ringside, the Portland City Grill, Huber's, McCormick & Schmick (yes, they started here) and El Gaucho Portland. Tell them they're no longer in the mainstream? I doubt it. Maybe not playing at quite the same level, but far from dunzo.

And in Seattle? No fewer than 146 "steakhouse" restaurants! Met Grill, John Howie, El Gaucho, the Brooklyn, Daniel's, Brazilians Ipanema, Buenos Aires and Fogaça, and suburban favorite Jak's, not to mention the chains, Ruth's Chris, Morton's, Sullivan's, Capital Grille.

A steak is as American as apple pie (obviously) and seems to satisfy some primal urge to consume meat that is red. So the next time you feel like you want to go out and shoot something, get your butt to a steakhouse instead, order a porterhouse and a bottle of Efeste, and just chill out, Nobody gets hurt. Beef won't kill ya.