My little pony

Ya learn something new every day.

Last night it was a look at the new health department regs that King County is imposing on food service establishments. If you're in the biz, you know them, the humorless inspectors with their clipboards and instant-read thermometers who go around terrorizing restaurant owners that the waterproof tag from their fresh mussels is two inches too far away, or the cheese two degrees too warm .

A lot of the new stuff is more fo the same bureaucratic gobbledy-gook, mostly petty stuff (whether you can re-cook a steak once it's got grill marks on it, for example; how to wash wild mushrooms). But then, along comes this:

Service Animals

New May 1! Service animals in food establishments will be defined ONLY as a dog (or miniature horse).

For food establishments only, a service animal can only be a dog (or miniature horse) that is individually trained to work or perform tasks for an individual with a disability. Disabilities include physical, sensory, psychiatric, intellectual, or other mental disability, as specified in RCW 49.60.218.

Yes, miniature horse.

Horse? A service animal is a dog, not a horse, I snorted, convinced in the everlasting, God-given rectitude of my opinion. A horse can't be a service animal, I argued; that would be unnatural. What would come next? If you allow service horses, could you also allow service turtles?

Well, within two minutes of posting on Facebook, all indignant, Antonin-Scalia-style, I got scolded. Miniature horses make excellent service animals. Check out the website for the Guide Horse association.

If only the Supremes could be schooled so easily.

Meanwhile, over at The Stranger, they have real journalists (like my son, news editor Dominic) who actually called the Health Department for clarification. Here's what they said.

Previous rules had "a much broader definition of service animals," explains Seattle/King County Public Health spokeswoman Hillary Karasz on the phone this afternoon. So while the old rules allowed you to waltz into Cowgirls Inc with your anti-anxiety service puma--or seeing eye mole--starting May 1, you can only take in your service dog (or miniature horse)!

Karasz explains a service horse is 24" to 34", measured at the shoulder, generally between 70 and 100 pounds. The change results from a cascade of policies that began as national adjustment to ADA standards, which were adopted into the state food code, and now give county officials leeway to only allow a service dog (or miniature horse).

Chip off the old pickle, says Cornichon.