Ballad of a City Slicker: "Home, Home in the Fields"

Way down upon the 'Qualmie River,
Twen'-five miles from home,
All the world seemed bright and sunny
First Sunday morn' of spring.
But rains had made the fields all muddy
And sucked the Fiat right in.

Duvall's just across the river
Bikers riding past
Won't be taking grassy detours
And the cellphone's gotta last

Thank the Lord for tow truck drivers
Roadside assistance rolled in
Winched the Fiat out in seconds
Drove off with a head-shaking grin

Way down upon the 'Qualmie River,
Twen'-five miles from home,
Didn't even leave King County!
How far dared you roam?