Oh, Starbucks, Starbucks, Starbucks. You are such a lying, hypocritical crack whore. When you were little, we thought it was kinda cute, this kinetic, temperamental teenage behavior, trying on new personalities every week. But it's old now, the lines are showing, you're not beautiful anymore, and all this pandering is just desperate.
Take a look at this van, for example, making the rounds of neighborhood convenience stores with cases of your new, canned DoubleShots that combine the jolt of coffee with 20 grams or so of protein--roughly the amount you'd find in an egg.
Who would drink this crap? Better yet, why? The official line is that they're geared toward gym rats who like to mix coffee into their morning protein shakes.
Not that you need all that protein, but there's more in the dairy products, too: Starbucks includes milk additives such as carrageenan, casseinate and milk protein concentrate--fine for most but not for the lactose intolerant. The drinks also contain a slew of sugar (20 grams per 11 oz. can) from added sources like erythiritol.
You want a healthy, nutritious breakfast? Eat an egg. Maybe a piece of toast. More protein? Really? Add some peanut butter. Need a double shot to get you going? No problem, just man up (or woman up, as the case may be) and take it neat. Forget about that skank in the corner making eyes at you; she's damaged goods.
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