Mermaid Sells Her Allure to Nestle for $7.15 Billion

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The aroma of coffee is very alluring. Even to a serial cereal (Cheerios) buyer like Nestlé. Even if Nestlé already has two iconic coffee brands (Nespresso and Nescafe). But Nestlé needs more. Needs that fix.

Fortunately, there's plenty of candy in Nestlé's pocket. Kit Kats. Here, sweet Mermaid, have some of my Kit Kats. If I give you Kit Kats, will you be mine? Not forever, Nestlé doesn't want to actually take you home. Mom wouldn't approve.

But Nestlé likes the way you smell, Mermaid. Nestlé only wants your dress, your image, your smile, your smell.

How many Kit Kats? How about a handful? A box? No? Okay, some simoleons, then? How about a billion simoleons? How about seven billion?

Happy now, Mermaid? Nestlé loves you so much.

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This page contains a single entry by Cornichon published on May 7, 2018 9:10 AM.

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